{"id":27336,"date":"2022-09-08T08:21:36","date_gmt":"2022-09-08T12:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/?p=27336"},"modified":"2022-09-08T08:53:29","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T12:53:29","slug":"when-you-succeed-and-fail-how-to-let-go-of-loss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/when-you-succeed-and-fail-how-to-let-go-of-loss\/","title":{"rendered":"When You Succeed And Fail: How to Let go of Loss"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What \u201cnever give up<\/em>\u201d should mean: learning to rejoice in success and let go of loss after spending my 30s undergoing fertility treatments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m 37. I\u2019ve spent almost my entire 30s doing fertility treatments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is not a message to give up. It\u2019s also not a message to keep going, because I can tell you \u2013 I\u2019ve been in both places with different outcomes. This is a message of doing what\u2019s right for your body and this moment in time of your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At age 29, we decided to try for kids. Not an old age, but right away I knew something was wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy is this not working<\/em>?\u201d said every fertility warrior everywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We did the typical things, talked to the doctors, and ended up doing a round of IVF<\/a> and \u2013 a miracle later! \u2013 got pregnant with our awesome baby boy. I get it. We\u2019re lucky. Even with all the trauma, I\u2019m omitting, we\u2019re still lucky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But\u2026 flash forward to kid number two. It should go the same way, right? Wrong. That first round of IVF did not work, which was devastating. I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve cried harder. It was a glimpse into what many know: IVF is NOT a guarantee. It was a hard lesson to learn. I\u2019ve had to refer back to a post-it note I wrote about these experiences because my brain constantly forgets what I\u2019ve been through.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So here we go with a post-it in hand. Two rounds of IVF and no luck. One hysteroscopy, but nothing was found. Another FET, ERA, FET. No dice. A new retrieval which was miserable (OHSS and 6 liters of fluid removed from around my ovaries) and a vow to never do a retrieval again. Two more FETs with two normal \u201cembabies<\/em>.\u201d Nothing. And then\u2026Covid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

During that pause period, I felt terrible. I experienced body aches, nausea, etc. It was not fun, but no discernible cause was found. Finally, I did a laparoscopy. They found a massive amount of scar tissue; a huge amount of endo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The world was on fire. I had to have a second laparoscopy with my fertility doctor and when she woke me up, she declared it the worst of her career (and she\u2019s been doing this for 30 years). In my heart, I said, \u201cWhy wasn\u2019t this found sooner?!<\/em>\u201d In my head, I said, \u201cThank God you advocated for yourself when no one did.<\/em>\u201d We did one more FET round with two low mosaics. That was it. No more second chances. I had been through enough. In the end\u2026it didn\u2019t work. I don\u2019t know why. I\u2019ll never know why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But my body said enough and this time, I listened.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been a warrior, pushed forward, and persevered with success. I\u2019ve also been a warrior, pushed forward, persevered, and failed. There is no shame in either. No right or wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m here to tell you:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

YOU are ENOUGH.
YOU\u2019VE done ENOUGH.
YOU are OK.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever that means to you, I want you to know: YOUR choice is the right one. With all the love I can give.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Michelle K., WI<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These personal stories have been vetted by RESOLVE to ensure that specific products or service providers are not mentioned. RESOLVE does not edit any details provided by the author in regards to their personal choices or belief.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What \u201cnever give up\u201d should mean: learning to rejoice in success and let go of loss after spending my 30s undergoing fertility treatments. I\u2019m 37. I\u2019ve spent almost my entire…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":57,"featured_media":27337,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1210],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27336","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-personal-stories"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27336","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/57"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=27336"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27336\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27338,"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27336\/revisions\/27338"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27337"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=27336"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=27336"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/resolve.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=27336"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}